Widow’s Key — Table of Contents

INTRODUCTION

*Background and Purposes of Widow’s Key

CHAPTER ONE – INITIAL REACTIONS          Page 1

*Realization or News of a Death *Common Reactions to Death of a Loved One *Emotional Reactions *Physical Reactions *Mental Reactions

*Social Reactions *Spiritual Reactions *Impact of Loss

CHAPTER TWO – FINAL MOMENTS AND RITUALS          Page 9

*Surroundings, Rituals and Ceremonies *Final Moments *Last Rites or Life Ceremonies for the Dying *Peaceful Farewell Rituals

CHAPTER THREE – THE WIDOW’S FIRST FEW HOURS          Page 13

*Immediately Upon Death *Initial Tasks -What to Do First *Death at Hospital or Care Center *Organ Donations *Death Certificate *Death at Home and Expected *Coroner/Medical Examiner *Unexpected or Unattended Death *If Death Occurs in Another State or Country

CHAPTER FOUR – ARRANGEMENTS AFTER DEATH          Page 23

*Making Arrangements *Notify Others of the Death *Obituary – Public Announcement of Death *Obituary Outline and Information Checklist *Obituary Pitfalls to Avoid *Practical Matters the First Few Days *Checklist Regarding the Home and Family

CHAPTER FIVE – FUNERAL AND MEMORIAL SERVICES          Page 31

*Arranging the Funeral or Memorial Service *Purposes of Services *Planning the Funeral *Funeral Director *General Guidelines for Funeral Arrangements *Funeral Planning Checklist *Creative Funeral Ideas *Music Types and Trends *Guide to Funeral Flowers *Practical Matters the First Few Days *Checklist Regarding Home and Family Matters *Eulogy–Finding the Right Words *Elements of Writing and Presenting a Eulogy *Funeral Celebrants *Memorial Services *Requiem Mass *Living Funeral *Funerals in Religious and Cultural Context (Jewish and Christian)

CHAPTER SIX – WIDOWS OF THE WORLD          Page 55

*Widow’s Club *Widow Defined *International Studies on Widows  *Statistics on Widows *United States Widows Statistics *Myths and Facts about Widowhood  *Universal Status of Widowhood *Common Elements in Religions Regarding Widows *Ancient Scriptures and Texts about Widows

CHAPTER SEVEN – GRIEF –THE NECESSARY PROCESS          Page 63

*Definitions and Dimensions of Grief  *Grieving Devastating Losses *Differences between Bereavement, Grief and Mourning *Disenfranchised Grief

CHAPTER EIGHT – PSYCHOLOGY OF GRIEF AND MOURNING          Page 67

*Grief Theories *Early Grief Psychology *Grief Theory Models *Kubler Ross’ Five Stages of Grief  *Current Science on Grief *Positive Sides of Grief *Mourning Tasks, Adaptations and Challenges

CHAPTER NINE – GUIDELINES FOR COPING WITH GRIEF          Page 73

*Phases of Adaptation *Individual Grief Responses *Effective Adaptation Approaches *Grief Transition Phases and Techniques *Exclusive Reader Online Resources

CHAPTER TEN – THE REALITY OF THE DEATH          Page 79

*Transition Phase One-Acknowledging the Reality of the Death *Disbelief and Emotional Denial *What You Might be Feeling as You Accept the Death *Practical Suggestions for Coping with the Reality of Death (Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit and Connection)

CHAPTER ELEVEN – OPENING UP TO THE PAIN          Page 87

*Transition Phase Two *Opening Up to Your Pain *Pain and Grief as Personal Journeys *What You Might be Feeling as You Cope with the Pain of Grief *Practical Suggestions for Opening Up to Pain (Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit and Connection)

CHAPTER TWELVE – REVISING YOUR ASSUMPTIONS AND WORLD VIEW          Page 101

*Transition Phase Three *Revising Your Assumptions and World-View *Assumptions and Core Beliefs *Revising Your Assumptions and Meanings *Making Meaning Out of Loss *What You Might Be Feeling as You Revise Your World-View *Practical Suggestions to Help You Make New Meanings (Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit and Connection)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN – ADJUSTING TO THE ABSENCE OF YOUR HUSBAND          Page 109

*Transition Phase Four *Adjustment Guidance *Adjusting to Absences *Additional Loss-Oriented Stresses *What You Might Be Feeling at the Absence of Your Husband *Practical Suggestions to Help You Adjust to Absences (Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit and Connection)

CHAPTER FOUTEEN – REVISING YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO THE DECEASED          Page 119

*Transition Phase Five *Transforming Your Lost Relationship *Attachments and Bonding *Creating Healthy Connections *Different Cultural Grieving Customs *Relationships Don’t End But They Do Need to Change *Inner Connections *Rituals Maintain Your Bonds *What You Might Be Feeling as Your Lost Relationship Changes *Practical Suggestions for Lost Relationship Changes (Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit and Connection)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN – REINVENTING YOURSELF          Page 129

*Transition Phase Six *New Life Roles *Revising Your Narrative Life Story *Rebuilding Your Life *What You Might be Feeling During Your Reinvention Phase *Practical Suggestions for Reinventing Self and Writing a New Life Story (Mind, Heart, Body, Spirit and Connection)  *Conclusions of the Transition Phases of Grieving

CHAPTER SIXTEEN – COMPLICATED GRIEF          Page 143

*What to Do If You Need Help for Prolonged Grief  *When You Need Extra Help *Types of Complicated Grief *Symptoms and Signs *Causes and Risk Factors *Guilt as a Complicating Factor *Risks, Prevention and Professional Help for Complicated Grief

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN – CHILDREN AND THE GRIEF PROCESS          Page 151

*Tips to Help Children and Teens Deal with Loss *Myths about Child and Adolescent Grief *Age and Development Effect How Children Deal with Death *General Characteristics of Grief in Five Age Categories *Expressions and Symptoms of Grief in Children *Positive Ways to Help Your Grieving Children *What to Avoid with Grieving Children

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN – TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS          Page 167

*Organizing Financial and Legal Matters *Immediate Obligations and Actions *Gather Information and Documents *Documents Checklist

CHAPTER NINETEEN – FINANCIAL AND LEGAL AFFAIRS ACTION PLAN          Page 171

*Organizing Techniques and Tools *Sort Paperwork and Setup Payments *Categorize and Label *Inventory Spreadsheet *Saving and Storing Documents

CHAPTER TWENTY – SETTLING THE ESTATE – PART ONE          Page 177

*Death Certificates *Social Security *Estate Administration Tips *Estate Plan Will or Trust Administration *Practical Estate Settlement Tips: Seek Professional Help *Veterans *Marriage Certificate, Birth Certificates, Divorce Decrees, Passport, Citizenship Papers *Employment *Medical Insurance Policy *Credit Cards and Account Statements *Fraud and Predators *Cancel Appointments, Memberships and Retrieve Items *Create an Inventory of Assets

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE – SETTLING THE ESTATE-PART TWO          Page 187

*Title Changes and Collection of Benefits *Life Insurance Policies * Bank Accounts and Safe Deposit Box *Retirement Accounts *Estate Taxes and Tax Returns *Real Estate *Vehicle Titles and Loans *Investment Brokerage Account *Partnership or LLC Agreements *Legacy Letter *Secure Storage and Passwords *Letter of Instruction and Last Wishes Binder

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO – ESTATE PLANNING BASICS          Page 201

*Planning Ahead *Necessity of an Estate Plan *Common Reasons for Making an Estate Plan *Not Just for the Rich and Famous *Getting Started on Your Estate Plan

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE – MINIMUM ESTATE PLAN          Page 207

*Three Legal Papers You Should Not Live or Die Without *Minimal Three Documents *Power of Attorney for Financials *Health Care Power of Attorney *Health Care Living Will Coverage *Selection of Your Health Care Representatives * POLST and HIPAA Documents

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR – WILLS           Page 215

*History of Wills *Elements of a Will *Signing of a Will *Who Can Make a Will? *Purposes and Benefits of Having a Will *Essential Elements that Make Your Will Valid *Personal Representative *Selecting Your Personal Representative *Guardians for Minor Children *Will Instructions *What Not to Include in Your Will *Beneficiaries *Sample Preamble to a Will        *Words of Caution about Will Kits or Online Forms *Complicated Family Trees and Mixed Families *Use of Attorney to Write a Will  Costs of Will Preparation *How to Make Changes to Your Will *Alternative Drafting Sources *Other Kinds of Wills

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE – CAUTIONS ABOUT WILLS AND SUBSTITUTES          Page 231

*Dying Without a Will *Dirty Dozen Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Your Will *How to Deal With Will Contests *Jointly Owned Property and Accounts *Will Substitutes Cause Problems * Review Your Estate Plan

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX – PROBATE          Page 243

*What Is Probate? *Probate Court Process Step-by-Step *Small Estate Affidavit *Benefits of Probate *Drawbacks of Probate *Tips for Keeping Probate Fees Down

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN – TRUSTS and TRUST ADMINISTRATION          Page 251

*Revocable and Irrevocable Living Trusts *Comparing Trust Versus Will    *Establishing a Trust *Trustees *Information Required for Estate Planning and Strategy *Transferring Ownership to Your Trust *Assets to Put Into Your Trust *Funding Process *Maintaining Your Trust or Will *Advantages of a Trust *Disadvantages of a Trust *Trust Administration upon Death

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT – LEGACY LETTER          Page 269

*Legacy of Intangibles *History and Tradition of Ethical Wills and Legacy Letters *Who Writes Ethical Wills, Why and When? *Common Themes of Legacy Letters *Tips on Writing Your Own Legacy Letter *Legacy Letter Topics Form *Making Your Legacy Letter Special *Examples of Legacy Letter Wording *Preserving Your Legacy Letter * Conveying Your Legacy Letter

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE – LIFE ADJUSTMENTS – PROTOCOL          Page 285

*Thank You Notes *Appropriate Designation-Ms. or Mrs. *Wedding Rings

CHAPTER THIRTY – LIFE ADJUSTMENT – HOME LIFE          Page 289

*Organizing and Removing Your Husband’s Personal Items *Simplifying Your Life *Changing Living Arrangements *New Roles and Responsibilities *Where to Turn When You Need Help

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE – LIFE ADJUSTMENTS – FINANCES          Page 301

*Getting Your Financial House in Order-Primary Steps *Saving for Emergencies *Financial Planners and Counselors *Beware of Predators

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO – LIFE ADJUSTMENTS – SOCIAL          Page 309

*Social Activities and Relationships *Holidays and Tradition *Travel

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE – LIFE ADJUSTMENTS – DATING AND REMARRIAGE          Page 321

*Dating *Online Dating *Sexuality *Remarriage

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR – LIFE ADJUSTMENTS – PERSONAL          Page 333

*Designing Your New Life *Change, Value and Purpose *Happiness Attitude *Empowerment *Conquer Negative Thinking *Forgiveness *Time Alone *Health *Spiritual Growth *You Know You Are Getting Better When

CONCLUSION

REFERENCES

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

INDEX

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